What a freakin' day!

I started the day with this text to Gilly
"Think its going to be a good day.  I love you."
It went down hill from here...
So for the past two days, Ry has not been able to stand or put any pressure on her right leg.  At first it was noted, but not followed because she had just been through a lot.  It was also noted and followed that her right arm and leg were quite swollen.  So today we started the day with a sonogram of her right arm and leg to check for any blockage in her vessels.  We then headed downstairs for a CT scan.
Late in the afternoon, some extremely young nuerologic Fellow named Dr. Dangle comes in to asses Ry just as the ICU docs had suggested.  The first words out of her mouth were so I guess you heard the results of the scan.  We have found evidence of a stroke.  A huge lump rose in my throat and I tried to hold it together.  The words hit me like a ton of bricks.
We are always aware of the risk of stroke that Ry has as long as we are on the anti-coagulation medication and with the Berlin itself.  Before I elaborate, let me say that God truly protected Ry from what could have been a devastating scenario.  She can overcome this.
So for the past several days, the staff has been monitoring a fibrin and thrombus on her out-flow cannula.  They come and go, but these two were more significant and worth quite a bit of attention.  Our best guess is that a piece of one of the fibrins came loose and became lodged in a vessel in Ry's right frontal lobe.  The area is very small and not seen well on the CT. Ordinarily an MRI is ordered, but because of the VAD, MRI's are not an option (because of the metal machine).  But upon a physical exam, nuero is confident with this diagnosis.
I then spent the rest of the day quizzing our poor nurse with a million stupid, but panic-driven questions like... Will her leg get back to normal?  Are we at higher risk for stroke now?  Do you think she's talking less?  Could this have caused the renal shut down?  Did other VAD kids ever have strokes?  Who helps us rehabilitate?  Do you think the stroke is causing her to stare at the ceiling all day or was it the anti-anxiety med from pre-CT?  And on and on ... (Sorry Liz)
Worry. Now it's just something more to worry about.
We have to watch her just to make sure we don't see any signs of her getting worse.  This would indicate the clot is blocking in another area as well.
It just stinks this is one more struggle Ry has to endure.  I know is a fighter, but I feel she never gets a break.  It's disheartening, but I know I have to be strong for Ry.
Due to this new development, the team has decided to switch Ry's pump tomorrow.  Yes you heard me right.  They will replace the 30ml pump with a new one (one without fibrins and thromboses).  This will reduce the risk of any of the existing ones to break loose.  She will be taken to the OR for this.  She'll be intubated, sedated, etc.  The actual process of switch the piece of equipment should take less than one minute.  During that time her own failing heart with pump.  No incisions will be made and there will be no pain.  The pump with be primed with saline so that she does not have to receive any blood products.*
We are hopeful things will go smoothly and Ry can begin working to overcome this latest challenge soon.  Please say an extra prayer for her tonight.  I feel like we all could use a little healing and comfort.

I will soon have an entire entry about blood and blood products... I am learning a lot and hoping for good things.